Penny Pinching

I've been sitting here with a blank screen in front of me for about 5 minutes now not knowing for sure what to write. I don't want to go over again what I have already been saying. Nothing has changed there. I managed to have a conversation with her this evening albeit short lived. I questioned her over a matter of money. Money that she has promised me from the outset to pay for the costs of myself having to move out. She keeps avoiding giving me any straight answer. Tonight was not any different really. She basically told me to stop going on about it. She told me how she had to shell out £400 fees to the bank today, and that was not expected by her. I only pointed out to her that I hadn't expected to be suddenly confronted with the costs of having to leave my home, because of her actions. That was the end of the conversation. I went and cooked myself something to eat and watched a little tv. She suddenly flew down the stairs and I managed to ask what she was doing and she said going to get something to eat. Well I assumed the local chippy but that was about 3 hours ago so I can assume that I will get woken later when she comes in the front door. Well that is assuming she does come in tonight and not 06:30 like she did this morning. Still, its no skin of my nose. She can do what she pleases, she cant do any worse than what she has already done to me. She has more than proved that she has very few morals, if any. The likely hood of me getting any of this money at the moment doesn't look very likely. Its mostly money she owes me from when we first moved down here. I used up all of what savings I had and she promised me back then that she would repay me for various things when she was working again. Well she got regular work but the money didn't show. I didn't ask her for it as I didn't think I had to. We were together and I was happy with that. I thought I would get the money sooner or later. But again, now I look back on things, its all clear that she has tried to make a fool out of me and used me from the outset.
I will badger her until she pays me what she owes me minimum. Just because I will have moved out does not mean she wont here from me. I will make sure she doesn't forget. And when she has done the honest thing, then she can do whatever she pleases. But I WILL be on her back until then. I might be starting to sound mean but I don't think I am being anything of the sort. Its time she started understanding a few things. All the time she is seen by me to be going out to various places for dinners, pubs, whatever else, I see that as her spending money that belongs to me. I have nothing now, she has seen to that. She told me I should scrimp and save a little but how do you scrimp and save something when you haven't got anything to scrimp and save with. Well she can do a bit of penny pinching to and give me what she owes me. Then and only then will I let her be. I think it might be a long month or so for the both of us.

Well I have one more day at work until my 3 day epic weekend starts. So much to do, I am hoping everything goes smoothly and without any problems. I was thinking that I have not been living on my own now for over 5 years. I never thought I would end up back to living alone again. I have a fear of being alone, I'm not sure how I will cope with that. It might come a lot easier than I am thinking right now. But there is one certain thing I know I will not miss and that is being in the same house as her. That I will be glad of. There will be a lot of things to get used to again while living the single life. There will also be a lot of changes made to my life and how I spend my time. As long as I just enjoy the experience and make things happen for me, then all will be good in the world. If other people are not interested in what I do then that's not my problem, I will find others that share common interests. This is the rest of my life and I am going to start living.
And as long as my little putty tat has a warm place or two to sleep his days away, then he will be happy too.

I hope to add a final post tomorrow night before I ship out to new worlds... well just along the road actually. If not then the next one will be from my new home and there should be plenty to tell then.

So, until the next post...