Fortune Cookie

I had a 'blip' this morning, I stupidly thought that I had got some sort of grip on my emotions. I found out I was still only clinging to reality. I tried to have a conversation with her, but it wasn't going to happen. I just don't understand how one person can manage to totally devestate a persons life in an instant like that. What has changed so much in of a matter of a few days that she can't even speak to me properly. It feels to me like she might be enjoying this.
I dare say she is at the centre of her own little world, and I don't mean that in a nasty way. Im not sure anyone is truly with her though? Perhaps she wasn't expecting me to cry so much. Perhaps she was expecting me to shout and scream blue murder at her. I couldn't do that, not to someone who has meant everything to me, however she has treated me.

I have started to notice some changes in me though. Im starting to feel a little bit of bitterness, rightly or wrongly so, I suppose I should expect that. But thats half my problem, I think too much about things that I cant do anything about. I know I am going to have to make drastic changes, and even if they are for the good of me, some of those things scare me. I had another chat on the phone again today with my good friend. She sees things so clearly, it helps.. it really does help. I do hope that this feeling of a fine shell around me will soon break away and I can stretch my wings a little.

You might be wondering what any of this had got to do with a fortune cookie if you read my title. I was feeling, or thought I was feeling hungry earlier.
I went to a local chinese takaway and bought some chips and battered mushrooms. I ate the chips forcably, but the battered mushrooms went in the bin. I still feel hungry now but I dont think its hunger, its just a true empty feeling. Anyway, we know all about that now.
In the bag I found they had put a fortune cookie inside. I was expecting to break open a world of advice (as you do) on my current problems. With anticipation I opened up the packet and snapped open the 'cookie', carefully removing the slip of paper with all the words of wisdom to help me through my darkest days.... it read "YOU WOULD MAKE AN EXCELLENT ACTOR." I could read a lot into that... but I won't. Yet!!! More tomorrow maybe.